


Cold In Our Professions

by msnonstop



Series: loyalty over royalty [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF, Merry Gentry - Laurell K Hamilton
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Gay John Laurens, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, King Alexander Hamilton, Modern Era, Modern Royalty, Multi, Sad John Laurens, poor john laurens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 10:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16830847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msnonstop/pseuds/msnonstop
Summary: Sequel to Not All Kings Wear CrownsJohn Laurens has a lot of things going on right now.His boyfriends as just been crowned King, his father hates him more than ever and his sister is in a coma.It'd be a lot for anyone, really.So he and his boyfriends fly to South Carolina where John has to face his past, and the choices that his sister has made. He's scared, confused and doesn't really know what he wants anymore.





	1. Act Two, Scene One

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Act Two! I'm so excited for all of you to see what's going to happen in the lives of our favourite new royals. Poor John is really going to take a beating in this Act.

John’s past few months have been a little crazy.  
Alex had been crowned king and he, Herc and Laf and been doing their best to make it as easy for Alex as possible. Alex had a lot of pressure on his shoulders and Laf and Herc were just trying to make sure that their little lion was okay. He just felt a little neglected. Was that wrong? Was it wrong for him to feel like he deserved a little more?  
He didn’t know.  
Instead, he kept moving. He kept working on his new responsibilities, his role as a boyfriend and his role as a new public figure. He and his boyfriends were expected to be on a talk show next week in New York, and he was more than excited, just not quite happy. Everything was new and lush and different, something that John hadn’t really wanted after he left his father. It was fine though, as long as he’s with his boyfriends. He ate his cereal tiredly, picking up his phone as he did. After Alex had been crowned, his social media accounts were up-hauled and completely turned on their heads, something that would happen to him when they got married.  
“Morning John,” said Herc, kissing him on the cheek as he walked by, “How are you?”  
“Fine,” he said, “Just a little stressed.”  
Herc looked at him concerned, sitting down beside him.  
“What’s wrong?”  
John sighed.  
“Nothing big,” he said quietly, “I’m just… adjusting.”  
Herc nodded, understanding.  
“I get it,” he said softly, “This is huge!”  
John just smiled and leaned into the other man’s shoulder.  
At least Herc understood… kind of.  
He finished his breakfast before he got up to go and get ready for the day. He still wasn’t used to not having to wash his dishes himself, but that was one of the changes he loved about this new lifestyle. He went upstairs to where all the new clothes they got were waiting. Since they were going to have to wear something semi-formal for the talk show that night, he decided that he would just wear some skinny jeans and a t-shirt. Once he finished getting ready, he decided to go to the study, where Laf would probably be, working on a little of the paperwork they had been given. As he walked through the halls, maids and butlers nodded at him as he did, making him feel uncomfortable. Out of all of them, Laf had probably adjusted the best. The other man had grown up as a modern-day French aristocrat, so this wasn’t too different from his childhood. He walked towards the humming noise he heard from the back of the study and found Lafayette.  
“Hey Laf,” he said, “You need any help?”  
Laf shook his head.  
“I am okay,” said Laf “I am almost finished.”  
John nodded but sat down beside Laf anyways. He watched as a maid came into the study, waiting for them to address her. This part of his new life John hated with a burning passion. He hated how this royal lifestyle had conditioned people into treating themselves like their time wasn’t worth as much as his. He knew, logically, that this was their job, that this was what they’re being paid to do. He just didn’t think it was right.  
“Would you like some tea my graces?” asked the maid calmly, balancing a tray full of the stuff on her hand.  
“Just call me John and him Laf,” he said waving her off, “But yes, we would love some tea.”  
The maid smiled politely before pouring the tea. Before she could even laugh John spoke once more.  
“We both take milk, but no sugar,”  
The maid nodded before giving them their cups.  
John nodded in thanks.  
“Merci,” whispered Laf, taking a sip “It is _delicieux_.”  
The maid nodded before leaving, walking out of the study. John picked up his teacup before kissing Laf’s cheek gently.  
“I’m going for a walk,” he said, “I’ll see you later.”  
Laf nodded before turning his attention back towards the paperwork on his desk.  
John walked out the doors before making his way to the gardens, somewhere he knew he’d be spending a lot of his life. He hummed as he walked through the bushes and rows upon rows of flowers, taking a deep breath and inhaling the sweet scent. He made sure to smile at each worker he passed greeting each of them individually. He wanted to make sure that each of them felt valued and loved, not like the way he felt when he was younger. He shook his head.  
He shouldn’t think of that.  
He couldn’t think of that.  
He kept walking. He wants to clear his head, how could he clear his head? He looked around almost frantically he needed to do something-  
Gardening.  
He walked towards a gardener quickly tapping the man quickly on the back.  
“Uh- hi! Can I use your hose?” he said quickly “You can take a couple hours off.”  
The other man looked really confused before stuttering out a reply.  
“Of course your Grace.” said the man, nodding his head  
John just smiles at him before grabbing the hose and turning towards the flowers. He was calmed immediately, the group of flowers was beautiful, a bunch of lilies. He calmed himself down by counting the little petals on each.  
One, two, three, four, five, six-  
“John?”  
John almost jumped in surprise.  
“Alex?” he said in surprise, “I thought you had paperwork?”  
Alex just smiled and put his hands on his shoulders.  
“I saw you shaking from the balcony,” whispered Alex quietly “I was working there.”  
“I don’t know what happened,” he said quietly, “And- and I don’t want to take you away from your work but-”  
“I will always make time for you guys,” said Alex cutting him off, “Even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, I love you guys more than my work.”  
John smiled and leaned in closer.  
“I love you too Alex.”  
That kiss was _exactly_ what John needed.


	2. Act Two, Scene Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My sister,” he said, his face stoney “She’s sick.”

“I need to go back to South Carolina.”

Alex dropped his spoon while Herc and Laf just stared at him in shock.

“Why?” asked Herc

“My sister,” he said, his face stoney, “She’s sick.”

John watched silently as his boyfriends immediately got up to hug him tightly.

“How sick is she?” asked Lafayette “Is there anything that we can do to help?”

John shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly “Unlike me, my dad loves my sister, she was everything that he wanted her to be. He hasn’t let me see her in years, after I came out to him he basically cut me out of the family.”

He saw each of his boyfriends' eyes soften, they knew this story but they had the same reaction each time his father was mentioned.

“But whatever,” he said, shrugging it off, “Her husband called me. It’s bad. She’s really sick and even though I haven’t seen her in years, she still my sister.”

“I totally understand,” said Alex, “We can leave right away. I’ll take my paperwork with me and we’re going to support you.”

This is where John paused. If Alex came the publicity would be bad, he didn't need his sister’s sickness to be in the weekly news. Then again, they’ll report it anyways if just he went, it might be worse to go alone. He didn’t need any relationship drama, not with everything that was going on.

“Course,” he said, slightly resigned, “Yeah, I’ll pack up your stuff to Alex. You can just get all your work stuff ready.”

“There will be no need your Grace,” said a maid jumping in, “We already have your hotel booked and there are already maids packing your bags.”

“Oh, okay,” said John, “Sure, well just, get on the plane? I gotta call my family though.”

The maid nodded before dismissing themselves and walking away.

“Listen, John,” said Herc, “Do you wanna talk? I know your family is a rough subject and this is going to be tough on you. If you don’t want us there it’s fine. We understand.”

“It’s fine,” John snapped

Herc stepped back in shock.

John took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he said slowly, “It’s hard.”

“Don’t worry about it _mon_ _chou_ ,” whispered Laf “We get it. Let’s get ready to go.”

-*-*-*-*-*-

John dialled his father hesitantly.

“Hey dad,” he said exasperatedly, “How are you?”

“Good Jack,” he said emotionlessly, “I see you still haven’t decided to quit those, _men_ of yours.”

John rolled his eyes.

“They aren’t my _men_ dad,” he said, “But yes, I am still dating Herc, Laf and Alex.”

“I know why your calling,” said his dad, switching topics suddenly, “You want to visit Martha.”

John almost dropped his phone in shock. _Could his father finally understand?_

“You’re not allowed to see her.”

“I’m sorry, _what_?”

“You can’t come to the manor.”

“You’re keeping her in the manor?” he asked in shock, “Are you crazy? You know what? Nevermind. I am coming over to see my sister _and I don’t give a shit about what you think anymore._ ”

“You are not coming to see Martha, Jack,” said his father sternly “I will not allow it.”

“You don’t get to decide what I do anymore!” John shouted frustratedly, “I am _not_ a kid anymore! I’m a duke for God’s sake! _You_ don’t get to decide what’s right anymore. I am going to see my sister because _she is sick_. _She needs me._ You don’t understand.”

“I am your _father_ Jack,” he screamed through the phone “No matter how important you think you are, you will never be more than _a mistake._ ”

His father hung up without another word.

John sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. He could feel his eyes watering, the tears threatening to spill. He didn’t want to let his dad win. If he cried and didn’t go his dad would win, he _wouldn’t let him win_. He took a deep breath. He could do this. He got up, walked to the mirror and stared his reflection straight in the eyes. He wiped the tears from his eyes and walked out of the room. He barely glanced at each person he passed. He was ready to go. His bags were packed, the jet was waiting outside and his boyfriends were there. He would do it. He would go to South Carolina, fuck his father’s opinions.

“Come on John,” said Herc “Ready to go? If we leave now we’ll get there by 10 am their time.”

John nodded and followed his boyfriends into the private jet. They stepped in and Alex almost immediately sat down and opened up his computer, getting ready to begin working.

“Take a break for once Lex,” said John, sitting down in the seat beside him, “You’re always working, let’s take a break. Sit with me, talk to me. I fell like the palace is too big and we never even see each other! We’re always buried in paperwork.”

John paused, and, for a second, he believed that Alex wasn’t going to stop working, that his work had replaced John, Herc and Laf as the number one priority in his life.

“Okay.”

He was wrong.

_Thank God._

Sometimes John was worried that they would lose Alex to his work, that he would become too consumed by his work that they wouldn’t matter anymore. He would be scared when Alex still worked for the US government. He was scared that Alex would try to climb until he was so high that oxygen couldn’t reach him. Hell, all of them were. They’d been scared for him. Now that there was no place higher for him to go, they weren't sure how he’d react. John personally thought that he would work himself into the ground. It’s different now. John shook his head, focusing his attention back on Alex, who had begun speaking again.

“What do you want to talk about?” asked Alex

_Hold on, what?_

“Can you say that again?” asked John in disbelief

“What do you want to talk about?” asked Alex hesitantly “Why?”

“You have an accent!” said John in disbelief

Alex couldn’t help but laugh at John’s actions.

“We’ve been talking, like, every day, and you haven’t even noticed?”

John felt the blood rushing to his face. He felt a little stupid, so he decided to make up some excuse.

“Well, I mean, surrounded by people with really strong British accents I guess I couldn’t really hear it?” said John, “But I don’t know.”

Alex laughed

“I can’t really hear the difference,” said Alex, shrugging, “But your not the first person to tell me that, Washington said the same thing.”

“Really?” said John in disbelief “Hold on, you had a Kimmel interview a week before we moved right? Let me see if I can pull it up.”

John had connected to the wifi on the plane and pulled up an interview on his phone. By the time he had it up, Laf and Herc had gathered around him. The Alex on the show still had his long hair, and there it was, an almost new york accent with a hint of a British accent, from the time he had spent with his father.

“Oh my god,” said Alex in surprise, “It’s like a completely different person.”

“It is true,” said Laf, smiling as he nodded “Our little lion is different but still adorable.”

John smiled at his boyfriends as Alex blushed.

This was nice.


	3. Act Two, Scene Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s getting worse,” he said tearfully, his voice muffled by Laf’s chest, “There’s nothing we can do, Apparently my dad has been buying the best health care money can buy, but there’s nothing that we can do.”

The plane had landed and John was stressed.

At the airport entrance, there were twelve different news networks waiting to see them walk through the airport. He didn’t want to interact with any of them, he was stressed enough as it is. His father was insistent that he didn’t come, yet here he was. He felt Laf holding on to his shoulder, making him feel safer and more secure. He could do this. His boyfriends were here, so it’s okay.

They walked together towards the airport, from where they were he could already hear the camera’s flashing and the people buzzing with conversations. John braced himself as they walked through the doors. John attempted to smile as the cameras flashed in their face and the oncoming questions assaulted their ears.

“Why are you here in South Carolina?”

“Is it true that your father doesn’t want you to be here.”

“Can you confirm whether or not you’re here to see your sister?”

“Is your family sick?”

“No questions please,” said Alexander, “We just need to get moving.”

John could almost kiss Alex right there and then.

Instead, they continued walking towards the exits, towards the cars that would take them to the manor. John concentrated on the feeling of Alex’s hands in his, Laf’s hands on his shoulders and the sight of Herc standing in front of him, protecting him in a way. He felt safe.

As they walked into the car John let out a breath he’d been holding since they walked off the plane. Finally, they were alone.

“This is the plan,” said Herc “We’re going to get there, talk to your dad, make him let you see your sister and then we'll just keep going from there.”

John smiled and rested his head on Herc’s shoulder. He looked out the window, recognizing the familiar sights of the rolling hills. He could feel the memories of his childhood as they drove by. He was nervous to see his father again. He could feel the judgemental stare from miles away. He felt himself unconsciously straighten his back like his father was screaming at him to straighten his posture. He looked at the entrance of the manor, and there, standing on the first step was his father. John stepped out of the car and walked towards him.

“Dad,” said John, shaking his hand

“Jack,” said the older man, “I know you’re here to see your sister. I will allow it but you are not to talk to the children.”

John wanted to scream at him. He wanted to scream that he could talk to his younger siblings if he wanted to. Instead, he just nodded and walked back towards his boyfriends.

“Just play nice,” he told them, “I don’t want to make him mad.”

John could see that Alex wanted to protest. That he wanted to scream at his father and protect John's honour or something like that. Instead, they just nodded and followed him into the halls of the manor.

It killed John because he could hear his siblings playing in the rooms above him. He walked the familiar path towards Martha’s room. He walked through the halls easily, as if the path was ingrained into his muscle memory. He walked up to the door and knocked on it slowly.

“Come in.”

The tired voice of David, Martha’s husband, greeted him from the other side of the door. He felt Laf’s hand rested on his shoulder, shocking John a little having forgotten they were there.

“We’ll wait out here for you.”

John nodded. This was something that he had to do alone. He turned the knob, and, for the first time in years, he saw his sister. She was pale as a sheet, her freckles that covered her face stuck out like a sore thumb. Her curly hair had gone wiry and thin like if you touched it, it would fall out of her head.

“How is she?” he asked shakily, walking over to her bedside.

“She’s getting worse,” said David quietly, “It had started with a fever, but soon she just couldn’t get out of bed., She hasn't woken in days. The machine is what’s keeping her alive.”

John took a deep breath.

“Is there anything we can do?” asked John “We have the access to the best health care in the world. Please, tell me if there is anything, absolutely _anything_ , in the world.”

David shook his head sadly.

“Henry has been spending tons of money to give her the best care he can and all the doctors have said that there’s nothing that they can do. That she has to wake up on her own.”

John sat down in a chair and covered his eyes, just trying to stop the tears. With all the money in the world, there was still nothing that they could do to save his sister, to even have her wake up.

John leaned over towards her and held her hand. The faint heartbeat gave him hope. The hope that it would all be okay. That, somehow, she would wake up and everything would be fine. That she could visit him at the castle and they’d both laugh at how strange his life was. But that was a reality that wasn’t his. In this reality, his sister may never wake up, his father may never accept him and he might never be close to his family. These were things that he was going to have to accept.

He listened as the heart monitor reassured him with every beat. Every sound giving a little hope. He walked outside the room and towards the study where he knew his boyfriends were waiting for him.

As soon as he walked in they stepped up and walked towards him he walked towards them and let himself melt in their arms.

“She’s getting worse,” he said tearfully, his voice muffled by Laf’s chest, “There’s nothing we can do, Apparently my dad has been buying the best health care money can buy, but there’s nothing that we can do.”

“I’ll call the network,” whispered Alex, “I’ll tell them that the show is off that now isn’t a good time and-”

“It’s fine,” said John “I’m sure that they’ll understand and have enough common sense to avoid the subject.”

Alex looked like he wanted to say something. Herc beat him to it.

“Are you sure?”

John nodded, wiping the tears off of his face.

“Yeah, definitely.”


	4. Act Two, Scene Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Welcome back everyone!” said Peggy excitedly, “Today we have four very special guests! Please welcome my very good friends John Laurens, Gilbert de Motier de Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan and, how could we forget, Alexander Hamilton!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of fluffy filler. god know these boys are going to need it.

John had blocked the events of the previous week out.

This was meant to be _fun_. This would be a way he could escape all his problems, even if it was just for a couple of hours.

As he buttoned his suit in the dressing room of the Talk Show, he pushed every thought of his family and South Carolina into the back of his mind. Tonight was important for Alex. He needed to make a good impression as the King and this was one of the best ways to do it: a late night talk show. He smiled at his boyfriends, each looking respectably adorable in their own right.

He walked to go stand beside his boyfriends as the commercial break ended and the host began to introduce them. It was Peggy, Angelica’s sister who hosted this show. Unlike her sisters, Peggy had taken to comedy and quickly rose to the top when she began hosting the _Night Show._ She had invited them as a way to promote Alex’s reign. It was something that Alex had been looking forward to for weeks. He had been on a couple talk shows before because of his personality and his other side projects. In his spare time, Alex had been writing best-selling novels.

“Welcome back everyone!” said Peggy excitedly, “Today we have four very special guests! Please welcome my very good friends John Laurens, Gilbert de Motier de Lafayette, Hercules Mulligan and, how could we forget, Alexander Hamilton!”

John put on a smile as he walked onto the stage.

“So how’s the new royal lifestyle treating all of you?” she asked casually, “I know that, according to my sister, you’re all adjusting pretty well.”

They all laughed and Laf spoke first.

“Well, not to brag, but I grew up in a castle,” he said, shrugging “So this life of luxury is nothing new.”

John laughed as Alex rolled his eyes.

“I grew up in a castle,” said Alex, mocking Laf “I’m _french_.”

“Shut it, Mr. I’m a King,” said Laf, “You’re royalty too.”

“About that,” said Peggy sitting up, “How are you adjusting? How does it feel going from holding a position in the US government to _being_ the government in the UK?”

“Well, it was obviously different,” said Alex, making big gestures as he talked, “I had never even heard from my dad after he left my mom and me when I was ten years old. Imagine how I felt when I find out that he was the king of England!”

Peggy nodded

“We were actually there when Alex found out,” said Herc, “We were having some take out and watching TV, when some guys just knocked at our door and, next thing we know, we’re in a different country learning how to be royalty.”

“It was insane,” John agreed, jumping in to contribute, “Alex has always done so well at working and adapting to the situation. I think all three of us can agree that we’re really proud of him for the way he’s handled himself the past few months.”

“Moving away from your royal life,” said Peggy, “I understand that you guys met in University?”

Alex laughed at the words while Peggy and looked at him weirdly.

“Yeah actually,” said Alex, recovering from his fit of laughter, “I was a first year and all three of them were in their second year. Even then, I was like sixteen or something? They were all way older than me, and we started off just as friends. I think that Laf and Herc started dating first, a month later John joined them, and then I only joined the relationship when I was twenty-one, about a year after John had joined the relationship.”

“Wow,” said Peggy, “So John, you joined the relationship and then you guys only had Alex join in a year after that? Why did you guys wait so long? DId it take that long for you guys to realize your feelings? Or was it something else?”

“Well,” John began, adjusting the way he was sitting, “It was mostly that we wanted to wait to ask him when he was twenty-one. We’re older than him right? And when I joined the relationship, all of us were 24 and he was only twenty. I don’t know, it didn’t feel right until he was at least old enough to drink with us.”

“I understand that,” said Peggy, nodding, “So that means that Alex was dating you guys when he was twenty-one, the same time he began working President Washington. How did you even start working with him, shouldn’t you have had another year of law school?”

Alex opened his mouth to speak, his face bright red in embarrassment, though Herc cut him off.

“Alex finished law school early, allowing him to work for the President,” he said,

“Oh, that makes sense,” said Peggy, “So, I know this is on everyone’s mind, can I ask if there are any plans for marriage in the future? I know that everyone is excited about a royal wedding.”

John laughed internally as the four of them froze in sync.

“We’ve never really thought about marriage honestly,” said Laf, shrugging off the shock, “All we know is that we love each other and that’s all that matters. We don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that.”

“It’s just never been something that’s all that meaningful,” said John, shrugging

“Well,” said Peggy, “We know tones about Alex, but we don’t really know a lot about you guys! Herc! What are some things the people might not know about you?”

“Well, people probably already know this but I was at Columbia for Fashion Design!”

At this, Herc’s words got tons of cheers from the audience.

“Yeah!” he said, smiling brightly, “But something they might not know is that I dabbled in espionage when I was younger.”

The people in the audience gasped in surprise, immediately intrigued, apparently Alex didn’t know because he gasped as well.

“Did you guys know this?!” Alex asked him and Laf in surprise.

“Guilty,” John said, shrugging as he smiled at Alex’s expression.

“Oui,” said Laf, grinning cheekily.

“Anyways-”

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

“Thanks so much for coming you guys,” said Peggy, walking towards them after the show ended,

“It was our pleasure,” said Alex, “But you could’ve at least told me that Kristen Bell was gonna be here! Are you kidding!? You know what? I’m going to go see if I can say hi.”

With that, Alex disappeared into the crowd of people.

“We apologize for him,” said John, laughing, “He never learned how to control himself in a social situation.”

Peggy just laughed,

“Listen you guys can chill whenever you guys want, I got this huge house with too many rooms that need to be filled.”

“We’ll call you whenever we’re in the area,” promised Herc,

“We must get going now though,” said Laf, apologetic, “We’ll go find Alex and then get out of here for you.”

Peggy just smiled and then gave each of them a hug before leaving.


	5. Act Two, Scene Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She went in to write down her will and process it.”

John walked into the room, pulling his hair up as he saw Martha lying in her bed.

She was still, her chest rising and collapsing softly like it was difficult for her.

“Hey Martha,” John whispered, “How are you? I’ve been okay. I haven't talked to you at all in a year and I regret it so much I couldn't tell you.”

There was silence. John didn’t know what he was expecting from Martha. Was he expecting her to respond? He continued.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to him quietly “I wish there was something that I could do. I’m sorry, I’ll try to get the little ones out of dad's hands, I know you hated him as much as I do. I bet that if you could say anything you’d yell at him for making your stay here.”

As he expected, there was nothing once more. No noise, no reaction. If he was quiet enough he felt like he could hear his own heartbeat. He felt the tears pricking at his eyes, something he’d wanted to ignore, every time he saw one of his boyfriends. He didn't want them to be worried, they didn’t have to worry about him. They didn't need something else to worry about. Now though, here where nobody could see him, and the only person in the room is his comatose sister. 

He let himself go.

He let himself sit down beside his sister letting the tears slip out of his eyes. He sobbed quietly into his hands muffling the small amount of noise. He couldn't help but let the thoughts that he had blocked out the past few months revisit his mind. He hadn't let the thought invade his mind for Alex’s sake, but now, as he was alone, he let them attack him.

The dark self-deprecating thoughts coming from every place and corner of his mind. As he felt himself sob a little harder, a little  _ louder _ , there was something that pulled him out of it.

“John?”

Just outside the door, he could hear Herc concerned voice

“John, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said John, wiping the tears from his eyes “Yeah, I’m okay.”

He walked out of the room, trying to erase the image of his sister laying down in the bed from his mind.

“You ready for bed?” asked Laf, getting up “It’s quite late.”

John nodded tiredly and got up to get to sleep, he was walking by his old office when he heard someone inside. He could hear the soft sound of someone typing inside of the office. He was surprised. He didn't think that Alex would leave the room to work. He didn't bother knocking and started speaking as he walked in.

“Come to sleep Alex, it’s lat-”

“Sorry about that John.”

That  _ was not  _ Alex.

“David!” said John, shocked “Sorry about that! Alex is just constantly working so I just expected-”

“Don’t worry about it,” said David cutting him off and rubbing his temples as he did, “From what I’ve heard his Majesty is a workaholic.”

John felt weird hearing one of his childhood friends call his boyfriend by his proper title. It was weird because he was used to people calling Alex that, but he grew up with David.

“Yeah,” said John, “What are you doing in here?”

“Just looking at the unplugging situation,” he said tiredly

At the word ‘unplug’, John felt his heart stop.

They wouldn’t unplug his sister, would they?

“What do you mean?”

“Martha said she knew that she was sick,” said David sadly, “About a week before the diagnosis, she went in to write down her will and process it. She wanted to be unplugged three weeks after she fell into the coma.”

“Three weeks?!”

“I know,” said David, “It’s so short. She didn't tell me, but since the date is coming up in less than a week, the legal office let me know.”

“How long until-”

“Five days.”

Five days. John had five days left of hoping and praying for his sister to wake up before she would be her own undoing.

“Oh my god.”

“I know,” said David, “I’m trying to figure out a way out of it, to try and give her a little more wiggle room.”

John didn’t know what to say. 

On one hand, he wanted his sister to wake up. He would never wish that his sister was dead, but there was one thing that was stopping him from helping David find the loophole.

_ “She went in to write down her will and process it.” _

His sister was the one who decided that she wanted to be unplugged. Was it wrong for him to want to save her life when she  _ didn’t _ want to? Was it wrong for him to force her to her life and go through whatever pain she might be going through? Did he have to respect your decision?

“I’m sorry David,” said John, “I don’t know how to help you. I have to respect the decision that Martha made. If she knew that she was going to get sick and decided to make her time in a coma so short, doesn’t that make you think? Maybe, in addition from knowing she was sick, she knew that it would be painful for her? I don't know, but I want to respect whatever thoughts made her make that decision.”

In a second, David’s expression changed. Instead of the tired, vulnerable man, he was angry, frustrated.

“Fine,” snapped David, “Be that way. I’ll do all this work  _ myself _ . I guess I’m the only one that wants Martha to live. Go to your fucking boyfriends.”

John wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to. It hurt him that David yelled at him. He had grown up with David, he was almost like his brother. 

He didn't respond, just walking out of the room and towards his own.

Of course, the faint sound of Alex typing was the only noise he could hear.

“Hey John,” said Alex, “What are you doing up? It’s too late for you.”

John just laughed wetly and sat down right beside him. He smiled to himself as Alex climbed into his lap, hugging him and kissing his nose softly.

“What’s wrong J?” asked Alex quietly, “Why so sad?”

“Nothing,” said John, brushing him off, “Nothing at all. Just a long day.”

Alex nodded slowly and put his computer away, something that surprised John, and grabbed his hand. He led him towards the bed, squeezing themselves on to the side of the bed where Laf and Herc weren’t. John smiled and became the big spoon instantly, wrapping his arms around Alex, feeling better immediately.

He closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep.


	6. Act Two, Scene Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you know that, in four days, Martha is going to be unplugged?” asked John, becoming angrier with every word he spoke, “DId you know that your daughter is going to die unless she wakes up in four days?”
> 
> “I do.”

John didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what to think either actually.

His sister was going to be unplugged in four days and he was okay with it.

Was he okay with it?

He knew that he wanted to do what his sister wanted. He knew that his sister might be in pain. He knew that he wanted his sister to be okay, that he wanted her to be blissful.

Did that mean that he wanted her to die?

_ He didn’t know. _

John got up. 

He brushed his teeth, pretending to go about his day like it was any other, though he only has one goal in mind.

_ Talk to his father. _

“Good morning Jack,” said his father, cutting off a piece of his omelette, “How are you?”

“Fine,” said John, attempting to at least start civil, “How are you?”

“Good, good,” he said, not attempting to start anymore conversation.

“Do you know?”

John didn’t know if he regretted saying that.

“Do I know what?” asked his father, being suspiciously cryptic, raising an eyebrow as he spoke

“Do you know that, in four days, Martha is going to be unplugged?” asked John, becoming angrier with every word he spoke, “DId you know that your daughter is going to die unless she wakes up in four days?”

“I do,” said his father, in the same tone; flat and uncaring, “I do know what Martha decided to do to herself. There is nothing we can do. Frankly, she is almost past the point of help.”

At these words, John felt an unimaginable anger rush through his veins.

“ _ Past the point of help!? _ ” he said, screaming at his father from across the table, ”I thought that you were looking for help? That you were looking for anything that would help her?!”

“I have an appearance Jack,” said Henry, rubbing his temples as he spoke, “I’m a politician if they thought I wasn't trying to save my poor daughter they wouldn’t re-elect me.”

“ _ You are a monster. _ ”

“You’re my son.”

“I can't do this with you,” said John tiredly, “You’re ridiculous your daughter is going to  _ die _ , and you are doing nothing. All you care about is your  _ stupid  _ image, your stupid politics and you self-centred ass is going to get what it deserves. I, frankly, don't give a shit about you. I don't need you anymore. I’m an adult, and if I had it my way, which I definitely could, I would be taking Martha with me somewhere far away from  _ you _ .”

“You don’t know what you're saying, Jack-”

“Stop calling me that!” snapped John, “Your an idiot.”

“You can’t talk to me like that, I am your father.”

“And technically, I’m your superior.”

There was silence.

John got up to leave, pausing briefly to recollect his thoughts.

He had two options right now.

He could tell Alex, Laf and Herc that they had to leave. He knew that they would understand and they would be out of here by lunch.

On the other hand, there was the matter of his sister.

His sister would die if he left, something within him told him that was the truth. If he didn't leave, at least he could pay his respects, at least he could be there for her.

And David. 

Poor David would be all alone and he couldn’t do that to him. Not after he had always been there him, they way they grew up together, their memories together were too heavy a burden for him to leave behind in South Carolina. Too heavy a burden for him to just leave behind and forget about before going to lead a new life in England.

“I’m staying for four more days,” said John, “And need be the funeral. Then, I’m gone. I don’t  _ ever  _ want to see or talk to you again Henry.”

“Now listen here-”

“End of discussion.”

John walked out of the room.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Come in,” said David’s tired and annoyed voice

“Listen David-”

“I don’t want to hear it, John,” said David bitterly, “I’m not in the mood.”

“I was going to say that I’m going to stay,” he said quietly, “I’m going to stay until Martha either wakes up or until her funeral.”

David paused

“Fine,” he said, “Just stay out of my way. I don’t care.”

John sighed, eyes watering turning away to leave.

He walked away from the door, towards the backyard. He smiled and wiped the tears away from his face when he saw Herc standing in the garden.

“Hey Herc,” he said, hoping that his voice sounded stronger to Herc then it did to him.

“Hey J,” said Herc, “What’s wrong?”

”Nothing, nothing,” said John, “How are you today?”

“Not bad,” said Herc, clearly not believing him, but deciding not to push him, “Guess what though?”

“What?” said John, trying to sound excited, “What is it?”

“Alex is going to visit Washington at the capital!”

“Really?!”

Now John is actually excited, Washington was like the father that Alex never had. John knew that he missed Washington greatly, and this would be great for him to go and see him.

“He’s going to fly out tomorrow,” said Herc nodding, “I’m going but Laf is going to stay back if you didn't want to come.”

John didn’t know what to do. He wanted to go to the capital but his sister. He knew that he couldn’t leave.

“I have to stay,” said John, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” said Herc, walking towards him and putting his hand on John’s shoulder, “we get it, and if you want us to stay we can! I’m sure I can talk to Alexander about it.”

John watched as Herc started jogging back towards the entrance. John walked the other way, towards his childhood garden. He remembered the times he would sit here with his sister, talking for hours about anything and everything.

He sat down in the bed of grass, closing his eyes as he did.

He lay down, feeling the soft grass, losing himself in the memories.

_ It would be alright. They would get through this. _

_ (Right?) _


	7. Act Two, Scene Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell is John Laurens doing in a park in the middle of nowhere?”

Three Days.

Three more days until John’s sister would be gone forever.

He tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, reminding himself that he couldn’t think like that, that he couldn’t afford to be so negative.

But it was just so hard.

He knew that he was a burden, that Alex, Laf and Herc were sick of him acting like this. Sick him just being depressed constantly, but it was just  _ so hard.  _

Plans had been changed. No longer was Alex flying the the capital, but the President was planning on visiting them. To anyone else, this might seem weird, or strictly professional. But since Alex had begun working with him, they had become like father and son (ironic, they know). So, this would only make it better him, then there would be at least one father present. He was walking through the hall, leaving Martha’s room, though she still isn't showing any signs of waking up. He was walking towards the library, ready to just sit down and take a break from everything. When he walked in the room he smiled at Laf, who was already sitting in the corner.

“Hey John,” said Laf, “How are you?”

“Better than I thought I would be,” said John, “But I don’t want to think about all of this.”

Laf just nodded, understanding

“Sit with me,” said Laf, patting the spot on the couch, “I was just reading a couple of old books that Alex gave me.”

John complied, sitting down right beside Laf and snuggling into his shoulder.

“Which one is it?” asked John 

“It’s  _ Sardonically Articulate _ ,” responded Laf, “I don’t know why Alex told me to read it. I mean, it’s good, but it’s not the type of book that I’d normally read.”

John nodded and sat there in silence for a little bit. He just read along with Laf, both of them sitting in a comfortable silence. John let himself forget about all his issues, the thought of his father, David and his sister slipping away as he let himself get absorbed in the story.

_ “We can never lose hope. There will always be things that happen that will be horrifying and will make you wonder how a human could even be capable of such terrible acts of mindless stupidity. But you cannot lose hope.” _

The passages in the book seemed to be mocking him. It was as if they were telling him not to lose hope. 

_ What utter bullshit _ .

There was nothing that  _ he _ could do. It was his sister’s fault that he was even here! It was  _ her _ fault that he was mad at his father and it was her fault that he was freaking out at all. 

John felt Laf, put a hand on his shoulder and look down at him concerned. John knew that Laf would want to talk about it, but  _ he definitely didn’t _ .

So, he left. 

He got up and walked away without another word, not really knowing where he was going. He didn’t care anymore. He was tired, confused and hated everything that was going on. He needed to leave.

So he did something stupid.

Something so incredibly stupid he knew that he would regret it later.

He left the property without telling anyone.

He forced a baseball cap over his head, grabbed his jacket, his dad’s keys and started the engine. He didn't look back as he drove away from the house. He just needs to get away from everything for just a couple of hours. As he drove down the winding road, he blocked any thoughts, just concentrating on the road. 

Finally, he had found the town, grabbing a pair of sunglasses from the glove compartment he got out of the car and walked towards the cafe in the middle of what seemed to be the town square. Bells jingled lightly as he walked through the door, hoping in the back of his mind that nobody would recognize him. He walked up to the counter and looked at the menu.

“Can I get you anything?” asked a bored teenager, not even looking up at him

“A small latte and a blueberry muffin please,” John replied, grabbing cash out of his pocket

“That’d be $5.50,” said the teenager, their voice just radiating annoyance

Once John had paid he went towards the back of the cafe where his coffee and muffin were waiting for him. He grabbed them and walked out of the cafe and just decided that he would just walk. He didn’t know where he was going, but he just kept walking, drinking his latte as he did. Soon, he found himself near a park and walked through the gates. He sat down on a park bench, finally digging into his muffin. He finally felt content. For the first time in what felt like months, he felt relaxed, like there wasn’t a care in the world.

“What the hell is John Laurens doing in a park in the middle of nowhere?”

At first, John panicked. Who the hell could’ve found him? Was it just someone random who happened to recognize him? Would they post it on the internet? 

He did not need anyone knowing about this excursion.

But then he looked at the person.

“Eliza?”

Unlike Alexander, John had met Eliza before he met Angelica. He and Eliza met while he was in summer camp in New York, the first summer he realized how gay he was. Even though he had never gotten to introducing her to his boyfriends and vice-versa, something he should probably do.

“So you do remember me!” she said laughing, “Now really, what are you doing here?”

“Of course I remember you!” asked John, “I’m here cause we’re all visiting my family. What are you doing here?”

“I’m working,” said Eliza shrugging “I work in musical theatre and I’m what they call an international swing. Basically, I just perform wherever the show’s performing and I move from company to company.”

“That’s cool,” said John moving over so she could join him on the bench, “What musical is it?”

“It’s called In the Heights,” said Eliza, “It’s pretty cool.”

“Nice.”

“But really John,” said Eliza, “Tell me what you’re actually doing in the middle of nowhere. Even if you were just walking around you should be surrounded by the security detail.”

John looked down his reasons for running away feeling stupid.

“I needed to get out,” he admitted, “It’s just all been a lot and something this morning just made me snap.”

Eliza said nothing, but put her hand on his shoulder, somehow convincing him to speak once more.

“I don’t really know what’s happening really, everything just seems to be going wrong. My sister is sick, like really sick. She’s in a coma and they're supposed to unplug her in like three days if she doesn't wake up. I don't really know what to think really, it was her decision to make her time on life support so short, and should I respect it? Or should I try and find some loophole? I’m just really confused and stressed- it’s a lot.”

Eliza paused before she spoke

“I get it, John,” she said softly “It’s a lot to adjust to and I know that, for better or for worse, it’ll get better and you’ll make the right decision. You can do it, John.”

Somehow, Eliza made him feel better about what was going on. She made him feel like he was in control again. He hugged her tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered

“No problem.”


	8. Act Two, Scene Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alex,” John said quietly, “Alex please, talk to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops i forgot what it was like to update. my bad.

When John walked back through the front doors, his boyfriends were all sitting down on the couch.

He threw his keys away, taking his hat off and hanging it on the hook before looking towards his boyfriends.

“Hey guys,” he said, putting his hand behind his head in embarrassment, “I’m back.”

The next few moments passed in slow motion. He watched as Alexander stood up immediately, obviously upset, ignoring the words of Herc and Laf, as he did. He wished it was Laf and Herc who were going to rip into him, Alex always gave it to him straight, something that he did not need to hear right now.

“What the hell John?!” Alex screamed at him, “Where were you!? You have no idea how horrible you made us feel. We were worried sick!”

“Look I’m sorry but I needed to get out of this house!”

“At least tell us!”

“But then I need the security, and it’s all too much! It’s all bullshit, I’m sick of this. I’m sick of all of it!”

Alexander seemed to ignore that last part.

“Security is for your safety John!” said Alex, enraged, tears falling from his eyes, “We only want what’s best for you John! we just want you to be safe!”

“Maybe I  _ don’t _ care!” screamed John, “Maybe I don’t care anymore! Because my sister is going to die and there is nothing I can do about it!”

“We’re trying for you John,” Alex screamed, “Laf, Herc and I, we’re all trying. I’m trying to make this easier for you. Everything I do is to make these things easier for you guys because I love you! If you don’t care then I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Fuck off Alexander,” John spit, “All I’m trying to do is to have a little time to myself, a little time where I can be myself. Not this stupid shit.”

Next, Alexander did something that surprised John completely.

He said nothing.

He turned around, walked past Lafayette and Hercules without another word. 

“Really John?” said Hercules, “You just  _ had  _ to rip into him didn't you? Just latching onto whatever insecurity he might have. You know what it’s been like for him. He’s been trying to make it easier for us, but his work also overwhelms him.”

“We really care about you John,” whispered Laf, “It really scared us when you left. You know how Alexander gets with people leaving. You know how hard it was to get him to trust us that we wouldn’t leave.”

Memories he thought he had forgotten from their time at Columbia together. When they had first begun dating Alex he was really nervous around them and had been scared to get close to them. They had tried really hard to make Alex understand that they would never leave him

And then, John, the fucking idiot, left.

_ Goddamnit, he was fucking stupid _

“Fuck I’m, stupid,” John cursed

Herc and Laf didn’t say anything

“Aren’t you going to chase after him?”

John nodded and then ran towards where Alexander had disappeared to. He ran through the halls, just looking for any sight of Alexander. He looked around, not seeing anything.

And then-

Something.

_ It was crying. _

Soft hiccups and stifled sobs emanating from the far corner of the library.

“Alex?” he whispered softly, “Alex are you there?”

There wasn’t a response. Just the sharp intakes of breaths, something that made John’s heartache.

John looked around, eyes searching for Alexander. There, in the corner of the library, hidden behind shelves of biographies.

He was curled into himself, burying his face into his knees, muffling any noise that might’ve escaped from him.

“Alex,” John said quietly, “Alex please, talk to me.”

Alex said nothing, but instead, he met John’s eyes, making John’s heartache as he did. They were bloodshot, it looked like he had been crying for hours. John moved to hug Alex, reaching for him. Alexander flinched, unconsciously turning his body away from John. John stopped reaching for him, taking a step back. He hated when Alex was like this, he hated when he saw the Alexander that was uncomfortable with people who care about them.

_ And it was all his fault. _

John ignored the thought, pushing it to the back of his mind.

“Okay I guess I’ll just talk then,” said John quietly, “I get that what I did was wrong, and I’m so unbelievably sorry. I’m so sorry that I was inconsiderate. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you were anything but a blessing in my life. Because you are, you’re incredible and you try to make everything easier for all of us and I’m so,  _ so grateful _ . I am so grateful that you have only tried to make sure that all of us are okay and can adapt to this new life. I am so unbelievably sorry for what I did. Will you ever forgive me?”

Alexander’s reign of silence persisted. While saying nothing he turned towards John, shuffling towards him. Alexander leaned into John snuggling into him.

_ (John held him as he would never let him go) _

John ignored the small sniffles and Alexander’s tear-stained face and just held him closer, pulling him into his chest. He wrapped his arms tighter, almost squeezing him.

“Shhh, shh,” John whispered into his hair, “It’s going to be okay, I’m fine and I’m not going to be leaving you anytime soon. Please, don’t worry that I will leave. Because I will  _ never  _ leave you alone. Laf, Herc and I? We love you Alex. We love you more than words can explain. Okay? Do you understand that?”

Alexander didn’t respond.

John understood.

_ He  _ wouldn’t forgive himself either.


	9. Act Two, Scene Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “John, get up,” said Herc, ignoring his question, getting dressed as he did, “We gotta go.”
> 
> “Gotta go where?” John asked, getting out of bed slowly.
> 
> “The Hospital John,” Alex whispered, “It’s Martha. Something happened in the middle of the night. Something about her heart- I’m not sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude we are coming near the end of johns storyyyyy and then i need thoughts, laf or herc next?

Two days.

Two days left for Martha to wake up.

It was getting harder and harder for John to leave her side. With the deadline coming up, Herc and Laf still not completely okay with him and Alex still not really speaking, he didn’t see the point of leaving.

“Still not waking up huh?” John asked, trying to keep his voice light, “You know, I always knew you were one for dramatic timing, but you’re cutting it awfully close.”

There was no response, the only noise being the soft chirp of a bird outside.

It was a sunny day, something that made John feel like the world was mocking him. Everything that was going on was pointing to the conclusion that John’s world was crashing around him.

Maybe John was being dramatic.

He didn’t think so.

Maybe though, this was the world telling him something. Maybe, it was the world finally showing the consequence of his actions. The consequences that he deserved for being such a fuck up. He literally ran away from his problems and came back expecting that everything would be normal. What kind of dumbass was he?

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

John’s voice was raspy from lack of use. He turned toward the newcomer.

It was Alex.

“Hello John,” Alexander whispered, “I wanted to say sorry.”

Hold on. 

What the fuck?

Why would Alexander want to apologize to  _ him _ ? He was the one who literally left without telling anyone and screamed at Alexander for literally no reason, and no he wants to say sorry to  _ him _ .

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” said Alexander, sitting down beside him, “All of this is hard, believe me, I know, and I should know that any person would need some space. I should've understood that. I was just scared. I’m sorry for yelling at you John. Will you forgive me?”

John was astonished.

“Alex I should be the one begging you for forgiveness,” John said, “I literally screamed at you for worrying about me! Like how fucked up is that? You just wanted to make sure I was okay, while I ran out here like a baby. I forgive you I guess, but you didn’t do anything wrong! You’re actions we’re-”

Suddenly, John felt arms wrapped around his torso tightly.

“Shut up John,” Alex whispered, “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too Lex,” John whispered into his hair, “More than I could ever say.”

John breathed in Alex’s familiar scent, comforted by the smell of new paper, ink and the ocean.

It was nice.

Finally, something nice in South Carolina.

“Want to go back to our other boyfriends?” Alex asked from below him, “I think they missed you.”

John smiled. Martha had another day, he would come back right away.

“Sure,” he said, smiling widely, “It couldn’t hurt.”

John was dazed.

He had fallen asleep, not in a chair beside Martha like he had the previous night, but in his bed with his boyfriends. Thankfully, Laf and Herc had forgiven him, admitting that they never had been truly mad at him, just frustrated. The night had ended in domestic bliss, falling asleep to the sounds of Jake Peralta joining ISIS in prison.

But now here he was.

At one in the goddamn morning.

“What the hell is going on?” his words slurred from sleep, “Why are you guys awake?”

“John, get up,” said Herc, ignoring his question, getting dressed as he did, “We gotta go.”

“Gotta go where?” John asked, getting out of bed slowly.

“The Hospital John,” Alex whispered, “It’s Martha. Something happened in the middle of the night. Something about her heart- I’m not sure.”

John felt himself hyperventilating. Martha was worse. Martha was going to die, and it wasn’t even by her own accord. His vision was going black around the edges. Nothing was good. Nothing was-

“John,  _ mon amour _ , please breathe,” Laf whispered to him, “Please you’re scaring us.”

_ In, out. In, out. In, out. _

“Yeah, okay, I’m fine,” John said, “Give me a second.”

John got up and pulled on the nearest t-shirt, not even knowing if it was clean while pulling some jeans in a similar situation. By the time he was dressed, his boyfriends were waiting for him in the foyer.

“Ready?” Alex asked him.

“Yeah.”

John climbed into the car, ignoring the cars full of guards trailing them as they borderline sped to the hospital.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked them, “Anything?”

“I believe the doctor said something about her heart,” Herc said, “I was getting some water when I found her talking to David in the sitting room. Martha was already at the hospital, the doctor had sent her there as soon as she noticed there was something wrong. I think she was here for Martha’s appointment, though I’m not sure why it was so late.”

“Okay- uh, how far are we?”

“I think we’re like five minutes away,” Alex said eyes trained on the road as he drove, “We’ll be there soon John. Don’t worry.”

John felt himself fidgeting, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t help but worry constantly this could be it. He knew that he should be calm. He knew that he should be thinking rationally but he couldn’t help but feel like his world was ending around him. As they pulled up to the hospital John’s seatbelt flew off. Even before the car had stopped John was jumping out of the car. He ran towards the front entrance flying through the automatic doors.

“Martha Laurens!” he said to the desk lady urgently, “What room is she in?”

“I’m sorry, said the lady, unfazed, “Who are you? What is your relation to the patient?”

“I’m John Laurens, her brother,” he said, “Please! Tell me where she is.”

The lady was blushing, stuttering along.

John huffed, annoyed. They did not have time for this.

“Floor two, room 207.”

He ran off, not bothering to wait for his boyfriends. Running up the stairs and towards the room. There, he found David, sitting outside with his head in his hands.

“How is she?”

David shook his head.

“They won’t tell me anything but I can tell it’s bad. I can hear screaming from inside. I don’t know what to do John. I don’t think I live without her.”

“I know David,” said John sitting beside him, “All we can do is hope, okay? That’s all we can do.”

John let his face fall into his hands. Sometime later, his boyfriends appeared by his side.

“Hey John,” Herc whispered, “Listen. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, okay? But, I want you to know that we are here for you. We are here to listen. We are here as a shoulder to lean on and we will do anything for you okay? Let us know if there is  _ anything _ that we can do for you.”

John nodded, leaning against him.

“Can you just… hold me?” he asked quietly, “I just need someone to be there.”

Herc nodded, wrapping John into his arms.

“Have they told you anything yet?” Laf asked, playing with his hair, evidently trying to calm John down. “Anything at all?”

John shook his head.

“David told me a little,” he said quietly “Just that he heard screams from inside. But other than that? Nothing.”

“I'm gonna go ask them,” said Alex getting up, “You deserve to know what’s going on in there.”

During any other situation, on any other day, John might’ve stopped him. Told him that he could fight his own battles, that Alex didn’t need to do that for him. But today? Today, John was too tired. He did nothing as he watched Alex get up and talk to one of the doctors, making them cough up any details they might have about Martha. He almost smiled when Alex walked back towards them. He had the same confident look that he wore whenever he came home from winning a debate against Jefferson.

“They told me everything they could, apparently,” said Alex, “The just of it was this. Martha had a seizure which caused her to come here. She’s been unstable the whole time and they can't seem to figure out what's wrong. She’s been running a fever of about 105 degrees and keeps having smaller seizures.”

John’s heart dropped.

This was bad. He tried to think positively, trying to think about something good- but he came up blank. Right now, all he could think about was Martha.

“I’m going for a walk.” he announced, getting up and shrugging Herc’s hand off his shoulder. “I need to clear my head.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” asked Laf quietly.

John shook his head.

“I think… I think I need to be alone for a bit.”

They nodded, accepting his answer.

So he left.

Walked back towards the staircase, absentmindedly following the signs leading him towards the outdoor dining area. He sat down on one of the outdoor chairs looking out at the city’s skyline.

Huh.

It was quiet.

If they had been back at the estate he would’ve still been able to hear the hustle of late-night commuters.

It really was quiet uptown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i appreciate it. ;)


	10. Act Two, Scene Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha was floating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Scene Ten. Enjoy.

Martha was floating.

She few above it all, not feeling a single thing as she watched doctors mercilessly shocking her body, trying to make her still heart beat. She said nothing, watching in morbid curiosity as her body was still. Maybe it was the wrong decision for her to ask that they unplug her in such a short amount of time. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was her doing the one selfish thing she would ever do in her life. Was that wrong? At this point, she didn’t care much. She floated out of the room, into the hallway. There sitting in one of those god awful chairs was David. Her David that had always been by her side, no matter what she was going through, no matter how hard on him she was, he was there. And he was broken. She could see that now. She could see it in the way that his shoulders sagged, his head dropped and the way that his hair fell, the same way it always had in the nights before the big exam. Was this her fault? Was this what would happen to him when was gone? She wanted to sit down beside him and tell him that it would be okay. Tell him that she would always be with him, no matter what happened in that hospital room. She could though. Even as she tried to lay her hand on his shoulder it went through with ease. She wanted to scream in frustration. Curse any god above that had deemed her worthy of such a horrible fate. She hadn’t even made it to the unplug date! This wasn’t fair. What kind of unjust world didn’t even let her make it to the day that she decided to die. So she knew! And what? Having the weird dream the night before sent her out to get everything in order, it had put her on edge. But not even letting her get to the day she would’ve wanted to die. What kind of fucked up world did she live in?

She sighed noiselessly.

There wasn't really anything she could do now though, was there? She needed to see John. She hadn’t seen her brother since he ran off to university years ago. Her father hadn’t accepted him for who he was, stopping him from coming home for any family gatherings. So they drifted. Neither of them bothering to try and make a connection. Honestly, she’d been surprised when he came down, she didn’t expect him to. She was glad he did though. Now she could finally see who these boyfriends of his were for herself. She had seen them on TV, of course, it was hard not to. The tiny one had created quite the scandal. As she passed them in the hallway she saw the real them, not the one projected for the public. They were sat in the small chairs, each holding another intimately. The small one, the King, was leaning against the French one, nestling his head into his shoulder. She passed them, making her way towards the outside dining area where she found John.

John, her little brother was sitting on top of one of the tables, chin resting in his hand. He looked the same. The same wild and curly brown hair, the same hazel green eyes and the same lean frame. The only visible difference was that he had even more freckles. She wanted to sing. Finally, she could see her brother again, she just wished that he could see her too.

“What is going on?” she heard John mumble to himself, “What is even happening?”

Martha floated over to her brother, taking a spot beside the man, sitting down.

“God, I feel like a horrible brother,” John said, continuing his quiet monologue, “I never even tried to visit you… and now? God, I am so sorry Martha.”

Martha could feel fictional tears running down her face, matching the ones on John’s cheeks.

_ ‘It’s not your fault!’  _ she wanted to say, ‘ _ There was nothing you could’ve done Jacky’ _

She could say nothing, just suffer in her own horrible silence.

“It’s so quiet here,” said John in an almost delirious fashion, “You always loved the quiet, right? You know, when all this is over you and David are going to come to visit. You know, come visit the new place. I’m sure you’d like it.”

Martha watched silently, she gave up on even trying now. She didn’t know how to react, finally, something made her hesitate about her decision. Was this wrong of her? Was it actually selfish? Now, listening to her brother she regretted everything more than ever. She wanted to float right back into her body and force herself to wake up, if not for herself, then for John. John, the brother that she hadn't seen in years, the brother that, in the darkest time of her life, was here for her. What did she ever do to deserve him?

Once again, she was questioning everything she had done up to this point.

“God Martha,” whispered John, “I’m praying! Hell, haven’t done that in literally years. I’m praying for you okay? I’m praying that you will get to wake up. I’m praying that we can be close again, because drifting apart was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made, and I’m so,  _ so sorry. _ ”

Martha moved to get closer to him when something changed.

Something felt… off.

She wasn’t sure what happened, but she wouldn’t it distract her. She needed to be with John.

“What are you doing out here Jack?”

Fuck.

Her father.

Her father had never gotten over John’s ‘betrayal’. He never understood what made John ‘turn gay’. This would only make things worse, she could see that even from there.

“Why aren’t you in there?”

“I needed air,” said John, sharp, “I just… needed to get out of there.”

“What? You can’t handle a little pressure kid? That wasn't my genes, must be the queer in you.”

The way that her father spat out  _ queer  _ made it sound like a curse. She hated him for treating John like that, but now? There was nothing she could do, even if she tried.

“I’m not doing this right now,” said John, “Martha… she’s literally dying in there.”

Martha hated this, why would her father set John off now.

“The fags have made you soft,” said her father casually, “Get rid of them John.”

“I  _ told  _ you that  _ I am not doing this right now _ .”

at this point, John was standing up, his sitting state, not quite doing his anger justice.

“I see no better time.” said her father, standing up, facing John.

Martha put herself in between them, an invisible barrier unbeknownst to the two men.

“Shut the fuck up.” said John, his hands turning to fists. “Shut up.”

But her dad didn’t get the message.

“You know, that Alexander kid? He’s a bastard John, a literal bastard. Why can’t you just find a nice woman? Just one to keep in the kitchen?”

He just kept talking, bad mouthing every bit of John’s new life.

“All of those boys of yours are freaking faggots, Jack. They made you one of them, a  _ queer _ . I promise you, John, if you leave them I will give you the therapy you need to fix you.”

That’s when John had enough he punched his dad square in the jaw.

Martha audibly gasped as she felt John’s fist fly through her. 

Somewhere, in the distance, a heart monitor could be heard flatlining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap on John's storyline. I know that it might not have been the ending you wanted or the one you deserved, but this is a story where I torture my children. Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate it.


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